When Men Are Gentlemen Things Get Better - The Story Of Ruth

 Every month or so I go out with a group called Street Angels in Guildford. In other places they’re called Street Pastors. But we’re called Street Angels. We’re mainly Christians, and we go out in pairs from 10.30 p.m. till about 3.30 p.m. to be around to help any of the people going to the night clubs. We sweep up broken glass; give out flip flops to girls whose high heels have become too painful; and try to sort out people who have puked up because they’ve drunk too much.

Once  I was with a lady called Lois and at about three fifteen we saw a young man and a smallish girl come out of a night club. He had his arm around her neck – we couldn’t see if this was romantic or something else – and they walked down an alley way, where there were some dustbins, and went behind a wall. 

 Hmmm.

 Lois and I stopped and had a quick think. We were worried about the girl. Did she know this guy? Was she very drunk and was something going to happen she would regret later? Did she want to be where she was right now?

 So we decided to walk down the alley way. The girl could then easily ask us for help. It would give her more time.

 As we walked down the alley way, they of course saw us, and to our surprise it was the young man who asked us for something. We didn’t have what he wanted, but this gave us an excuse to go over and talk to them.

 I had a lively discussion with this guy, let’s call him Joe. I liked him.

 I told Joe and his friend – they did know each other, she wanted to be with him – that he was made in the image of God and he shouldn’t treat his body as if they were animals.

 Joe had plenty to say in his defence. He said it was wrong to take our morality from the Bible. Wrong and right was up to the individual.

 We agreed to disagree, his girlfriend got cold, and they went off to get a taxi.

 Joe thought he should decide what was wrong and right. So there he was in a dark alley way with a woman who was not his wife. His way of thinking had taken him – and his lady friend – to a dark place next to some dustbins. Literally. .

 In fact that way of thinking has taken lots of people to dark places and dustbins. Indeed it’s taken whole societies – including ours here in England today – to dark places where women are abused and children suffer.

 In the Bible there’s a horrible story about a man and his second wife who were travelling back to their home and ended up in a town with nowhere to stay till they were taken in by an old man.

 Later that night a gang came banging on the door demanding to have sex with the man. Rather than go himself, the man pushed his second wife out to the gang. They raped her all night. In the morning when the husband opened the front door there was his second wife slumped on the steps. She was dead. She’d been raped to death. In fury the man cut up her body into twelve pieces and sends every tribe in Israel a bit of the corpse. Not surprisingly this causes war. Thousands died.

 After all this rape and murder and war the writer signs off with this–

 ‘In those days there was no king in Israel, all the people did what was right in their own eyes.’

 Everyone doing what is right in their own eyes and you end up with a bad situation.

 But bad situations can change.  Fast forward from that horrible story in the Bible a bit and you read this... David reigned over all Israel; and David administered justice and equity to all his people. 2 Samuel 8: 15

 Bad situations can change. Streets full of drunks, can become sober; porn addicts can become pure; broken families can be mended.

 There are loads of answers to how bad situations change, but this morning I want to suggest one, based on what happens in the next story after this horrible rape story.

 ‘Situations get better when men are gentlemen’

 In the horrible story about the woman who is raped, there are no gentlemen. The husband is a coward, the gang are animals.

 But in the next story –we feel things are going to change, and centre stage in this story is a real gentleman.

 Let me fill you in a bit on the story – it’s a bit of a soap opera…and we’ll see what the marks of a true gentleman are.

 There’s a guy called Elimelech with a wife called Naomi and they have two sons, Mahlon and Chilion. They leave their home town of Bethlehem because of a famine and go and live in a place called Moab. The sons grow up and marry a couple of local girls – Orpah and Ruth.

 Then all the blokes die. So now it’s just the women: Naomi Orpah and Ruth.

 News comes through that the famine in Bethlehem is over and Naomi decides to return, telling her daughters in law that there’s no point in them coming with her. She’s got nothing for them in Bethlehem, certainly no husbands. Orpah turns back, but Ruth won’t leave her mum in law. So – when the bus comes rumbling into Bethlehem, it’s Naomi and Ruth who get off. Two penniless women…it’s not a very good situation…

 Thankfully it’s the start of the barley harvest and the Jews had a rule that the farmers had to leave some of the harvest for the poor to glean. So the next morning Ruth goes off to glean in the fields.

 There she is gleaning. A pretty young woman. The eyes of young men are turning, and maybe some old ones. She keeps her head down. This is a story that could have a bad ending…maybe there is a dark alley and some dustbins around…

 It doesn’t - because a true gentleman now arrives. The gentleman is the owner of the field. His name is Boaz. The first thing he says – Ruth 2: 4 is

 ‘The Lord be with you’.

 Here’s the first mark of a gentleman. He’s spiritual. He has faith in God. And he’s not embarrassed about God – he talks about Him in the field, the shop floor, the office, the class room. Later on when he gets chatting to Ruth he just breaks out into prayer…v 12, ‘May the Lord reward you…’ God’s a part of his life…and so God is his moral compass. He’s not like Joe and the girl by the dustbins – or like the rapists…people who do what is right in their own eyes. No – Boaz wanted to do what was right in God’s eyes.

 Ruth is a pretty vulnerable foreigner: the response of a gentleman? To protect. He calls her ‘My daughter’, invites her to just stay in his field, and reassures her that she will be safe. He’s ordered the young men not to molest her. He cares about her dignity. 

 And he’s very generous. He gives her a great lunch – she eats till she’s satisfied and tells his team to make sure they leave plenty of grain for her to collect.

 At the start of this story we didn’t have a good situation. Three dead husbands and three poor widows. Now things are changing.

 The situation is getting better, because here we have a gentleman. 

 Ruth comes back home and starts spilling out all her news and Naomi’s heart starts to fill with hope and she comes up with quite a cheeky idea. Boaz is a relative of her dead husband. He is from his clan. This means he has some responsibilities for Ruth, even marriage. So Naomi comes up with a plan for Ruth to propose to Boaz. Naomi explains to Ruth that Boaz will be working in his barn late that night. That’s something else that marks Boaz out as a gentleman – he works hard. Anyway back to Naomi’s plan. She tells Ruth to have a shower, put on some nice perfume, her best dress and go to this barn and hide behind loads of straw. Then when Boaz has had his supper she’s to see where he sleeps and then when he’s happily snoring…she’s to go and sleep at his feet. That’s how she’s going to propose to him.

 And that’s what she does.

 Hmmm. Imagine this in a Hollywood film. Boaz wakes up with a start in the middle of the night and finds this drop dead gorgeous girl sleeping at his feet, and there’s no one around, and it’s dark - if the film is a 15 or and 18 don’t you think we should be changing channels.

 But we don’t have to change channels here. Because Boaz is a gentleman. He had told his young men not to molest her – and he is no hypocrite. He’s a gentleman, and gentlemen don’t have sex with unmarried girls; gentlemen don’t have sex with strange girls, known girls, girl-friends, or fiancés. Gentlemen only have sex with the lady they marry. That’s it.

 Imagine how bad this would have been if Boaz had not been a gentleman, if he’d been like Joe or millions of other men. Ruth’s situation would have got a lot worse. She would have just been known as ‘cheap Moab meat’

 But because Boaz is a gentleman he controls himself. Nothing happens physically. And he says yes to her request. He will marry her.

 You know I think he always liked her, but he had ruled himself out because of his age. As a true gentleman he might have thought it would have been to intimidating, too manipulative for him – with all his wealth and status to have asked for her hand in marriage. He would have been taking advantage of his status. That’s not kind.

 But now she offers her hand – and he gladly takes it – except there’s one problem.

 But before we come to that problem…let’s just underline that a bad situation has got a whole lot better. As dawn breaks Ruth has her honour. And Boaz gives her loads of grain. And she’s probably got herself a great husband.

 Ruth’s situation has got a lot better because Boaz is a gentleman.

 Now the problem. She’s probably got a husband. But after she had proposed, Boaz said yes, love to marry you…but according to our customs there’s a guy who is nearer to your dead father in law, and we need to see if he’s interested in you.

 Ouch…you can feel the ‘lived happily ever after’ text just about to come onto the screen and now Boaz is fussing about a funny old custom.

 Come on Boaz. Forget this custom, don’t worry about silly rules. Just do what you think feels right…do what is right in ‘your’ eyes. Don’t let a tradition hold you back.  Come on Boaz – go and get her. Forget this relative.

 But Boaz is a gentleman. And gentlemen care about customs. They respect the traditions of their elders. They don’t trample on rules for their own convenience; they do things properly, even if it could end up hurting them. Gentlemen keep the rules. That relative must be consulted.

 So the very next day he goes and gets this problem sorted out. He risks losing Ruth. But…it’s all OK. The other guy doesn’t want to marry Ruth. Phew. We get our happy ending

It wasn’t just Ruth’s situation that got better. Ruth and Boaz had a son. His name was Obed. Obed was the father of Jesse. And Jesse was the father of David. There’s been a journey from a bad situation – anarchy – to a good situation – justice and equity under David. And when did the change happen? When a gentleman comes on the scene

 End of story.

 Lesson learnt… we men need to be gentlemen: spiritual; hard working; caring for the weak; decent to women; keeping the rules…

 But…some of us men might want to be like Boaz, but we’re not naturals. I’m not that spiritual and as for looking after the weak and vulnerable, great in theory, but to be honest I care more about the football. 

 On rules. Depends. Sometimes I break them…so…yes, I do what is right in my own eyes…

 Treating women with dignity. Sometimes OK, sometimes there’s molesting with my eyes. Don’t ask me about what would happen if I woke up in the middle of the night with a beautiful girl at my feet.

 In our heads we want to be gentlemen. But there’s something else going on that drags us down. Is there an answer to this…can we all be gentlemen?

 Yes. We can all be gentlemen. Let’s go back to Boaz…he wasn’t just the great grand-father of David. He was the ancestor of another man from Bethlehem: another man who walked with God, who cared for the poor and especially widows and helpless women, another man who was pure. He is the greatest gentleman the world has ever seen His name? Jesus Christ. He is still alive.

 You and me read about Boaz and say – yes, I want to be a part of the answer –but…but…I am not a natural gentleman. But Jesus the Son of Boaz is. It’s all about Jesus living in you. Stop trying to be a gentleman yourself; let Jesus be the gentleman in you. It’s not about you, it’s about Jesus. I think Boaz himself had learnt this truth…do you know what his name means – In Him is strength. He didn’t look to himself, he looked to God.

 You say, but I’ve messed up so badly. Do you know what Ruth said to Boaz when she was at his feet – she said, ‘You are my next of kin, you are a redeemer. Ruth went to Boaz’s feet and just blurted out…you are a redeemer. We can do the same. Jesus is our next of kin. He is fully man, sinless man. And as Boaz was to Ruth, so He is to us. He is our redeemer. He has settled the matter of our sins on the cross.

 We can go to the feet of his Son of Boaz, and say – You are my next of kin, you are my redeemer…In the story, Boaz threw his cloak over Ruth…in our story, Jesus throws his garments of righteousness over us. He cleans us up. He gives us new clothes. And then, as Boaz lived with Ruth till the end of their days, so Jesus lives in us and with us till the end of our days.

 That’s why we can all be gentlemen. This is what Christianity is all about. I knew a young man. He swore, he stole, he looked at porn, he wanted to molest girls, he lied, he couldn’t care less about rules. Just like Joe, he did what was right in his own eyes. He was no gentleman. But then he asked Jesus into his heart and he changed. Jesus the gentleman lives in that heart…and he’s been living there for over thirty years.

 I can be a gentleman because the son of Boaz is in my heart

 So can you and we can walk, even this afternoon, into whatever field God has given us and we can see situations change. We can find Ruths and Naomis and Jills and Elizabeths and Tom and Dicks and Harrys who are in a bad situation, and because we turn up…their situation gets better.

 Situations get better when men are gentlemen.

 You and I can be that gentleman