Last year the net revenue of the pornography industry was 57 billion US dollars. That is more than the GNP of 170 countries. The reason the industry is so profitable is simple: human beings, male and female, have an intense interest in sexual imagery. Just for the internet the figures are staggering. Every day 30 million people log on to a pornographic site, of which there are 4.2 million, 12% of all sites; 35% of all net downloads are pornographic (that’s 1.5 billion a month!). 25% of all search engine requests are related to sex; and there are 2.5 billion sex e mails. 72% of the visitors to pornographic sites are men; 28% are women. In terms of people involved a rough estimate would be that 10% of the population of any country has no problem with pornography, while 10% are addicted. This means that 80% are somewhere in between.
And some of this 80%, and some of the 10% addicted to pornography, are ‘born again’ Christians.
In one survey 47% of the Christians admitted that internet pornography was a serious problem in their homes, and in another 53% of a group of Christian men admitted to struggling in this area. In surveys of pastors intentional visiting of sites has been exposed.
Yet Jesus said – ‘If anyone looks at a woman lustfully, he has committed adultery’ and in case you weren’t listening he follows this up with – ‘If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.’ In other words people end up in hell because they have not stopped their eyes lusting over sexual imagery. The Apostle Paul is equally blunt in many of his letters. Here’s what he says to the Corinthians: ‘The body is not meant for sexual immorality’ and ‘Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually, sins against his own body.’ (I Cor: 13 & 18).
There is no getting around what God’s will is for the Christian. He wants us to be sexually pure – which one pastor has defined well as being ‘receiving no sexual gratification from anyone other than your partner in marriage’.
But there is also no getting around that such sexual purity is not the constant experience of millions of Christians.
However much we long for sexual purity, there are no instant answers, but there are two things you have to know, and three things you have to do, to give you day to day victory.
If you have no problem in this area, good-bye; if you struggle, read on.
What you have to know -
1. Who you are in Christ*
You must understand and believe with all your heart that God has put you in Jesus Christ and that through the Holy Spirit you now have a new nature, who is stronger than your ‘old man’ that responds to sexual temptation. However much our ‘flesh’ screams that we must gratify out sexual desires, this is a lie. The new nature in the Christian is stronger, and by the Spirit we can kill the desires of the flesh. (Rom. 8:13). To read more about your identity in Christ, get hold of a copy of ‘Victory Over Darkness’ by Neil Anderson now in Persian.
*Only Christians, those who have sincerely invited Jesus Christ into their hearts, have a new nature. The Bible teaches that it is impossible to live a pure life without the Holy Spirit. If you are reading this and you are not a Christian, please click here first, to go to a page which will explain how you can become one.
2. What Your Emotional Needs Are
Millions of people use pornography to try and meet their inner yearnings to be loved and accepted in a secure (not necessarily sexual) relationship. This is especially true for people who have come from dysfunctional families where little love was shown. Of course those silent sensuous images can never meet these yearnings; indeed they just fuel the shame, alienation and loneliness. If this is your situation you need to understand what need you are trying to fill when you are lured. Why not get a piece of paper and complete this sentence –
The need I am trying to fill when I fall into sexual temptation is…………
Once you have written out what your inner needs are, think carefully about what you can do to meet them. Illicit sex is often a search for intimacy so it might be that you first need to ‘Delight yourself in the Lord’, to focus on intimacy with God.
What You Have To Do
1. Find New Ways To Relax
Everyone needs to wind-down, and it is often at the end of the day, when guards are down, that people turn to pornography, as sexual images produce an almost instant mood change. It is perfect escapism. For a few brief moments the drug of sexual excitement takes people away from the mundane pressures of life. Once though the pleasure is over, the unrelenting whip of shame causes intense agitation and misery. If this has been your situation, you must first ruthlessly refuse to give even a foothold to the behaviour patterns (channel surfing, internet surfing) that lead you to pornography. Then you must develop new ways to relax. Take up a sport; watch brilliant but clean films; do some carpentry; put on your favourite CD settle in the sofa, and read a novel; go for a walk; go for a drive; paint; play the piano; write poetry; get a telescope and study the stars...
If this has been your situation, get a piece of paper and fill in this sentence –
Instead of finding relaxation through pornography, I will relax by………
2. Confess– to God, and to others
Make yourself accountable first to God and then to another Christian (of the same sex!) as soon as possible. It might be that you feel you have just sinned too much in this area and there is no hope for you. This is a lie. When the leper (a picture of someone soaked in sin) came to Jesus, he said, ‘If you want to, you can make me clean.’ and Jesus replied – ‘I want to’!!! The Lord wants us to be clean – we have to get on our knees like the leper and confess, honestly and specifically. It might help to make a list and after each confession cross the sin out with a red pen, for the blood of Jesus cleanses us from every sin.
And confess regularly also to others, or even better, arrange to meet with another Christian so you can check up as to how you are both doing in the battle with lust. There are two great blessings in this arrangement. First of all it will act as a red light because we are going to have to tell someone else what we have done. It will make us think twice before clicking the mouse, or switching to a bad TV channel. However kind our friend is, it is not easy to say, last night I deliberately watched xyz. The second great blessing is the act of confession underlines the forgiveness of God. It is God who forgives, and He always does forgive, yet sometimes we find it hard to believe that He has forgiven us. However when we confess to another, and there is prayer, the Holy Spirit uses this to confirm in our hearts that we have been forgiven. This is why the Bible says – ‘Confess your sins one to another.’ (James 5:16). If you’re reading this and you do not have any friends you can approach, it might well be you have a friend on e mail you can write to. (And if you have nobody you can contact, we encourage you to contact these pastors. Your correspondence will be completely confidential and only read by the pastor you choose to contact)
Final Words From A Wise Book
Again and again in Proverbs the reader is warned about sexual immorality –
‘Many are the victims she (sexual immorality) has brought down, her slain are a mighty throng. Her house (the internet, the TV, the video, the magazine...) is a highway to the grave, leading to the chambers of death.
Dear reader, don’t be one of the many victims. Repent, confess to God and let the blood of Christ cleanse you. This is a daily battle till we die, but Christians can win. Understand the freedom you have in Christ, identify your inner emotional needs, find new ways to relax, and above all, be quick to confess to God and find another Christian to be accountable to
And some of this 80%, and some of the 10% addicted to pornography, are ‘born again’ Christians.
In one survey 47% of the Christians admitted that internet pornography was a serious problem in their homes, and in another 53% of a group of Christian men admitted to struggling in this area. In surveys of pastors intentional visiting of sites has been exposed.
Yet Jesus said – ‘If anyone looks at a woman lustfully, he has committed adultery’ and in case you weren’t listening he follows this up with – ‘If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.’ In other words people end up in hell because they have not stopped their eyes lusting over sexual imagery. The Apostle Paul is equally blunt in many of his letters. Here’s what he says to the Corinthians: ‘The body is not meant for sexual immorality’ and ‘Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually, sins against his own body.’ (I Cor: 13 & 18).
There is no getting around what God’s will is for the Christian. He wants us to be sexually pure – which one pastor has defined well as being ‘receiving no sexual gratification from anyone other than your partner in marriage’.
But there is also no getting around that such sexual purity is not the constant experience of millions of Christians.
However much we long for sexual purity, there are no instant answers, but there are two things you have to know, and three things you have to do, to give you day to day victory.
If you have no problem in this area, good-bye; if you struggle, read on.
What you have to know -
1. Who you are in Christ*
You must understand and believe with all your heart that God has put you in Jesus Christ and that through the Holy Spirit you now have a new nature, who is stronger than your ‘old man’ that responds to sexual temptation. However much our ‘flesh’ screams that we must gratify out sexual desires, this is a lie. The new nature in the Christian is stronger, and by the Spirit we can kill the desires of the flesh. (Rom. 8:13). To read more about your identity in Christ, get hold of a copy of ‘Victory Over Darkness’ by Neil Anderson now in Persian.
*Only Christians, those who have sincerely invited Jesus Christ into their hearts, have a new nature. The Bible teaches that it is impossible to live a pure life without the Holy Spirit. If you are reading this and you are not a Christian, please click here first, to go to a page which will explain how you can become one.
2. What Your Emotional Needs Are
Millions of people use pornography to try and meet their inner yearnings to be loved and accepted in a secure (not necessarily sexual) relationship. This is especially true for people who have come from dysfunctional families where little love was shown. Of course those silent sensuous images can never meet these yearnings; indeed they just fuel the shame, alienation and loneliness. If this is your situation you need to understand what need you are trying to fill when you are lured. Why not get a piece of paper and complete this sentence –
The need I am trying to fill when I fall into sexual temptation is…………
Once you have written out what your inner needs are, think carefully about what you can do to meet them. Illicit sex is often a search for intimacy so it might be that you first need to ‘Delight yourself in the Lord’, to focus on intimacy with God.
What You Have To Do
1. Find New Ways To Relax
Everyone needs to wind-down, and it is often at the end of the day, when guards are down, that people turn to pornography, as sexual images produce an almost instant mood change. It is perfect escapism. For a few brief moments the drug of sexual excitement takes people away from the mundane pressures of life. Once though the pleasure is over, the unrelenting whip of shame causes intense agitation and misery. If this has been your situation, you must first ruthlessly refuse to give even a foothold to the behaviour patterns (channel surfing, internet surfing) that lead you to pornography. Then you must develop new ways to relax. Take up a sport; watch brilliant but clean films; do some carpentry; put on your favourite CD settle in the sofa, and read a novel; go for a walk; go for a drive; paint; play the piano; write poetry; get a telescope and study the stars...
If this has been your situation, get a piece of paper and fill in this sentence –
Instead of finding relaxation through pornography, I will relax by………
2. Confess– to God, and to others
Make yourself accountable first to God and then to another Christian (of the same sex!) as soon as possible. It might be that you feel you have just sinned too much in this area and there is no hope for you. This is a lie. When the leper (a picture of someone soaked in sin) came to Jesus, he said, ‘If you want to, you can make me clean.’ and Jesus replied – ‘I want to’!!! The Lord wants us to be clean – we have to get on our knees like the leper and confess, honestly and specifically. It might help to make a list and after each confession cross the sin out with a red pen, for the blood of Jesus cleanses us from every sin.
And confess regularly also to others, or even better, arrange to meet with another Christian so you can check up as to how you are both doing in the battle with lust. There are two great blessings in this arrangement. First of all it will act as a red light because we are going to have to tell someone else what we have done. It will make us think twice before clicking the mouse, or switching to a bad TV channel. However kind our friend is, it is not easy to say, last night I deliberately watched xyz. The second great blessing is the act of confession underlines the forgiveness of God. It is God who forgives, and He always does forgive, yet sometimes we find it hard to believe that He has forgiven us. However when we confess to another, and there is prayer, the Holy Spirit uses this to confirm in our hearts that we have been forgiven. This is why the Bible says – ‘Confess your sins one to another.’ (James 5:16). If you’re reading this and you do not have any friends you can approach, it might well be you have a friend on e mail you can write to. (And if you have nobody you can contact, we encourage you to contact these pastors. Your correspondence will be completely confidential and only read by the pastor you choose to contact)
Final Words From A Wise Book
Again and again in Proverbs the reader is warned about sexual immorality –
‘Many are the victims she (sexual immorality) has brought down, her slain are a mighty throng. Her house (the internet, the TV, the video, the magazine...) is a highway to the grave, leading to the chambers of death.
Dear reader, don’t be one of the many victims. Repent, confess to God and let the blood of Christ cleanse you. This is a daily battle till we die, but Christians can win. Understand the freedom you have in Christ, identify your inner emotional needs, find new ways to relax, and above all, be quick to confess to God and find another Christian to be accountable to
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